


Telephone

by MirrorMystic



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Comedy, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Idiots in Inaba AU, M/M, Multi, Post-Canon, Pre-Poly, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-15
Updated: 2019-09-15
Packaged: 2020-10-19 12:42:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20657441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MirrorMystic/pseuds/MirrorMystic
Summary: Rumor has it that Akira's dating a hot blonde from the big city. The problem is: which one?





	Telephone

**Author's Note:**

  * For [RetroKinetic](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=RetroKinetic).

> Find me on Twitter at @mystic_writes!
> 
> Do you have stories to be told, but need help with the telling? Send me an e-mail at nathaneraya@yahoo.com!

~*~  
  
It was just another ordinary day in Inaba. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and Akira and Shiho were sprawled on the roof of Yasogami High, baking in the late summer heat.   
  
“Ugh, I’m melting…” Shiho muttered. She was pulling her hair back to tie it into a bun, and already her hands were unpleasantly moist. “Can it just be fall already?”   
  
“Seriously,” Akira grumbled, tugging at his collar. “I almost miss the days when it was just rain and fog five days a week.”   
  
“Stay strong, Akira,” Shiho said. “We’re supposed to be the strong ones. When Ann and Ryuji come to visit, we get to make fun of _ them _ for complaining about the heat.”   
  
The door to the roof squeaked open. A student came over to join them, a friend of Akira’s. They were never particularly close until senior year, when Akira jokingly put a sign on the door to the roof that said “no hets allowed” and accidentally founded Yasogami High’s first LGBT club.   
  
“What’s up guys?”   
  
“Hey, what’s up, Jay?” Akira waved.   
  
Jay grinned, the corkscrews of their hair waving in the humid summer breeze. “You guys heard the rumor goin’ round?”   
  
“Akira and I don’t listen to gossip,” Shiho said primly. She broke into an impish grin. “...Why, is it juicy?”   
  
“What is it with you and rumors, man?” Akira wondered. “Why don’t you try doing riddles or something?”   
  
“Nah, man,” Jay shrugged. “My brother, when he was here, he was the riddle master. Said he kept his secrets in his hair, that’s why his ‘fro was so big. I’m tryna do my own thing, you feel?”   
  
“That’s fair,” Shiho mused.   
  
“Besides, I’m actually here to congratulate you,” Jay clapped Akira on the back. “Rumor has it you got yourself a girlfriend.”   
  
“I did?” Akira blinked. He and Shiho exchanged glances.   
  
Shiho flicked him in the forehead. “Don’t fall in love with me,” she teased.   
  
“Not you, Shiho,” Jay clarified. “And, I guess I shouldn’t have just assumed it was a girlfriend. That’s not very cash money of me.”   
  
Akira pinched the bridge of his nose. “What did this rumor say, exactly?”   
  
“That you’re taken,” Jay said. “You’re dating some hot blonde from the big city.”   
  
“Shit,” Akira hissed.   
  
“Ha! They’re not wrong!” Shiho teased. But then she saw the look on Akira’s face-- that intense, shadowed look he got whenever his brain was going somewhere particularly Phantom Thief-y. “What’s wrong?”   
  
“This is bad, Shiho,” Akira muttered, shaking his head. “We’ve got a problem.”   
  
“ _ Do _ we?”   
  
“We do,” Akira declared, his glasses glinting in the light. “They broke the truce.”   
  
~*~   
  
The attic at Leblanc wasn’t quite the same without Akira in it. That much was obvious. But there were other changes, too-- like the new bedframe Sojiro had ordered to replace the milk crates propping up Akira’s old bed, or the dresser and work desk that Haru had donated, and somehow coerced Ryuji and Makoto to spend an afternoon hauling up the steps. Everyone was pitching in to renovate Akira’s room for when he came back. (It’s not like he’d made any real concrete plans to come back to Tokyo at this point, but, well, “bribery” is such a strong word.)   
  
Futaba was currently sitting on her own contribution to their little renovation project: a proper computer chair. Not quite as good as her own, superior computer chair, but it was worthy enough for Akira. She was putting Haru’s new desk to good work, putting together the second of her homecoming presents: a _ real _ computer, to replace the craptop Akira had picked up from the thrift store last year.   
  
“Hey,” Ann said, from where she was sprawled out on Akira’s new bed. “What do you think of this one?”   
  
“I told you, I’m fine with pretty much anything,” Futaba said. “I just want to listen to something besides anime OPs for a change.”   
  
Ann scrolled through the music on her phone, picking out a track. A somber, melancholy song began to play, eerie techno synth behind a wistful piano melody. Futaba went stiff in her chair.   
  
“Ann,” she began carefully. “What’s the name of this song?”   
  
“Um. ‘Savior of the Dreaming Dead’. Why?”   
  
“How do you know this song?”   
  
“It’s from--”   
  
Ann clapped a hand over her mouth. Futaba whirled around in her chair.   
  
“ _ Homestuck _ ,” Futaba hissed.   
  
“It has good music!” Ann wailed.   
  
Futaba spun back around and got back to work, wearing a grin smugger than any smug anime girl. Ann fell back into bed, pouting.   
  
Ann’s phone buzzed, cutting off her music. She put her phone up to her ear.   
  
“Hey. What’s up, Shiho?”   
  
Ann bolted upright in bed. “He _ what _ ?! No no no, what did he say exactly? ...Uh-huh… uh-huh… no, Shiho, I’m fine. I’m peachy! I’ll talk to you in a bit.”   
  
Ann ended the call. She took a deep breath, and promptly dropped her phone on the floor.   
  
“That _ punk _ !” Ann cried. She spun Futaba around in her chair and clamped her hands down on her shoulders. “Futaba, we’ve got a problem!”   
  
“We sure do!” Futaba babbled, flustered. “P-P-Personal space!”   
  
Ann blinked, and let go of Futaba’s shoulders. “Right. Sorry.”   
  
Futaba exhaled, relieved that Ann was no longer in kissing range. “Okay. So. What’s going on?”   
  
“Akira broke the truce,” Ann announced gravely. “That motherfucker.”   
  
“What truce?” Futaba asked.   
  
Ann sighed. “Alright, look. You know how, last year, we were all kinda dancing around each other, but all that shit with Shido happened and it wasn’t exactly the right time for romance?”   
  
“I remember us all being confused and horny, yes,” Futaba drawled.   
  
“Yeah, exactly,” Ann nodded. “So, Akira declared a truce-- we would all wait until things settled down and we’ve had some time to get our shit together, maybe until after we all graduated, and _ then _ we could maybe think about the ‘L’ word.”   
  
Futaba blinked. “...I thought you were bi.”   
  
Ann thumped her on the head.   
  
“Except _ now _ Shiho says there’s a rumor going around that Akira’s dating a hot blonde from the city! A rumor I bet _ he _ started!” Ann pawed at her face. “Akira’s making his move, and I’m not ready! Shit. I gotta get a train ticket. I gotta go talk to him…”   
  
“No, you don’t,” Futaba said. “Ann, come on. You’re really going to drop everything and go spill your heart out to Akira based on some dumb rumor?”   
  
“What would you do, then?” Ann asked.   
  
Futaba scoffed, and put a hand over her heart. “I’ll tell you what _ I _ would do. I would keep all my feelings right here, and then one day, I’ll die.”   
  
“See, I can’t do that,” Ann insisted. “How can anyone live with all those pent-up feelings?”   
  
“Believe me, I know all about being pent-up,” Futaba said flatly.   
  
“I’m doing it,” Ann declared. “I’m taking the next train.”   
  
“Ann, how do you know this rumor’s even about you?” Futaba asked. “You’re not the only blonde in Tokyo, y’know.”   
  
“Futaba, the rumor said a _ hot _ blonde,” Ann said. “Have you seen how that bleach has fucked up Ryuji’s hair? His hair’s like uncooked ramen.”   
  
“I’m just saying, assuming Ryuji’s out of the running seems pretty heteronormative,” Futaba shrugged. “That’s not very cash money of you.”   
  
“I didn’t say that!” Ann huffed. “Look, if Ryuji wants to get on the next train to Inaba, show up on Akira’s doorstep and spill his heart out, then I’ll go ahead and give him a head start!”   
  
“If you say so…” Futaba smiled, bemused, tapping at her phone.   
  
~*~   
  
“Now listen, man, it’s all about the technique…”   
  
“Is it, now?” Yusuke wondered, bemused.   
  
“Yeah, man! All the beef bowl pros know extra ginger’s where it’s at.”   
  
“Then I shall defer to your professional opinion,” Yusuke teased.   
  
Ryuji grinned. His phone buzzed in his pocket.   
  
“One sec, Yusuke,” Ryuji said, bringing his phone to his ear. “What’s up, nerdling?”   
  
Ryuji banged a fist into the table and sent their silverware rattling.   
  
“She _ what _ ?!” he roared.   
  
Several patrons turned and stared. “Volume,” Yusuke chided gently.   
  
“Sorry,” Ryuji grunted. He cleared his throat. “She what? No no no, what did she say exactly? ...Oh, is that right? Oh, it’s on! It is on, sister!”   
  
Ryuji ended the call and stuffed his phone back in his pocket. He scowled at his food, before diving into his beef bowl a lot more aggressively than usual.   
  
Yusuke studied Ryuji with one eyebrow raised, his spoon halfway to his mouth. “Is… Is something wrong?”   
  
“No, I’m fine,” Ryuji grumbled, his mouth full. “I’m peachy. In fact, I’m just--”   
  
Ryuji gagged and coughed. Yusuke gave him a few hearty thwacks on the back. Ryuji recovered, downing half his water in one long draw. He clapped his glass on the table as if it were a shot of tequila.   
  
“I’m fucked up, man!” Ryuji hissed.   
  
“Explain,” Yusuke said, unfazed.   
  
“Ann’s breaking the truce!” Ryuji railed. “You remember? The truce?”   
  
“Yes. the ‘truce’,” Yusuke nodded sagely. “Our agreement to forego any romantic pursuit within our circle until we had all had the time to properly sort out the adrenaline rush of last year. I believe Futaba was the only one not present at that meeting. To use Akira’s words, ‘she’s baby’.”   
  
“Well, Futaba ain’t the only one gettin’ left outta the loop,” Ryuji growled. “Apparently, Ann’s getting on a train to Inaba tonight so she can get all mushy on Akira’s doorstep, and she’s daring me to race her there to see which of us can confess first! I can’t believe her, springin’ that shit on me all last minute…”   
  
“Ah, a race for one’s love…” Yusuke preened, a hand to his chest.   
  
“You don’t get to enjoy this, Yusuke,” Ryuji grumbled.   
  
“I don’t? But it’s so very entertaining,” Yusuke teased. “It’s not often something gnaws at you so completely it can distract you from a beef bowl.”   
  
“How can I think about food at a time like this?!” Ryuji railed. “Listen. Yusuke, listen. You know how tight me, Ann, and Akira have been, right? You already know me and Ann have gotten super close while Akira’s been away from Tokyo. And, I mean, obviously, she’s _ super _ hot--”   
  
“Yes, I’m aware,” Yusuke said dryly.   
  
“And I don’t like thinkin’ about havin’ to compete with that, but I think I’ve got a shot, okay?” Ryuji insisted. “Like… Ann’s super touchy and cuddly with everybody, that’s just her thing. But there are times when Akira gets like that, sorta, and it’s just… it gets to me, you know? Really makes me wonder if there’s something going on there, like, like--”   
  
Ryuji pulled a paper from his pocket and unfolded it.   
  
“I made a list! I made a list of all the cutesy shit Akira’s done when it’s just me and him, you know? Like… like he’s always getting me stuff and saying it ‘reminded me of you’. Or, like, he’s always leaning on my shoulder when he’s gettin’ sleepy. Or smiling at me funny. Or, or, he’ll look at me with that super intense expression he gets sometimes, but something about it’s off, you know? Like, it’s not ‘hey I’m a criminal mastermind getting ready for a heist’, but it’s like, softer, but still passionate, or-- dude, are you getting this? Am I making sense? Or am I just way overthinking this shit?”   
  
“Yes,” Yusuke said bluntly. “For once in your life, I do believe you’re _ over _ thinking it.”   
  
Ryuji groaned, pawing at his face. He glanced down at his phone.   
  
“...I need help. I need to talk to someone about this.”   
  
“I have an idea,” Yusuke said patiently. “How about… you talk to _ Akira _ about all this?”   
  
“I can’t do that!” Ryuji cried. “He’s too close, and I ain’t ready to have that conversation! Nah, man. I gotta call someone else. A… what’s it called? A third party. Somebody who’s totally, completely unbiased.”   
  
~*~   
  
“Ryuji, why would you call _ me _ about this?” Shiho groaned.   
  
“You should be concerned, Shiho!” Ryuji said. “Ann’s about to fall to her knees on Akira’s doorstep like the next Oscar-nominee and tell him how he changed her life last year, and you’re _ okay _ with that???”   
  
“Ryuji, I have no right to police Ann’s feelings, and neither do you,” Shiho chided. “I’m not going to play this game if it means pitting us against each other.”   
  
“Shiho, come on! Whose side are you on, here?”   
  
“Ryuji, what did I just say about not wanting to take sides?”   
  
Ryuji groaned. “Alright, look. I’m not asking you to come up to bat for me. I just need someplace to crash tonight. Can I stay with you?”   
  
“Why do you need a place to crash?”   
  
“I’m taking the next train to Inaba, duh!”   
  
“Wait, what?” Shiho’s phone chirped. “Oh, hold on, I’ve got another call… hello?”   
  
“Shiho, I’m about to do something crazy,” Ann warned.   
  
“Oh! Are you finally chopping off your twintails and getting that side shave?”   
  
“What? No!” Ann huffed. “Listen, Shiho, I’m about to march over there and give Akira a piece of my mind. Could you set out the spare futon for me?”   
  
“Wait, wait, what’s going on?” Shiho’s phone chirped. “Ugh, hold on…”   


“Shiho! Hey, I need to talk to you…”  
  
“Don’t fall in love with me,” Shiho warned.   
  
“You’ll have to get in line!” Akira huffed. “Listen, I’ve been thinking about that rumor we heard today…”   
  
“You and the rest of Japan, apparently,” Shiho drawled.   
  
“Shiho, what if people are still talking about me back at Shujin? What if Ann or Ryuji heard that rumor already? You know how they are when they get an idea stuck in their heads. I’m worried they might do something drastic.”   
  
“Believe me, you’re not the only one,” Shiho sighed. Her phone beeped insistently. “Hello?”   
  
“Hey Shiho. Listen, after thinking about it, I wanted to apologize for just inviting myself over to your place. I know you might not be comfortable having a guy up in your business, after, you know--”   
  
“Ryuji, you’re my friend and you would never hurt me,” Shiho said wearily.   
  
“Right. Cool. So… So can I still come over, or--”   
  
Shiho’s phone beeped again. She sighed. “Hold on.” She pressed a button. “Ugh. Hello?”   
  
“Alright, geez, I was just gonna ask if I could wear those cute red undies we bought last week…”   
  
Shiho blew out a sigh. “Ann. Why would you need my permission to wear a certain set of underwear.”   
  
“Well, you bought them for me! If I wore them while having _ that _ talk with Akira, I dunno, it would feel like a betrayal, I guess? But they’re _ really _ cute, too. Sorry, am I overthinking this?”   
  
Shiho pinched the bridge of her nose. Her phone beeped yet again. “What?” she scowled.   
  
“You’ve been pre-qualified for a new line of credit!”   
  
“Not interested!” Shiho’s phone beeped yet again. “What! What is it now?”   
  
“Shiho, I’m sorry, okay, but this rumor’s really throwing me for a loop,” Akira insisted. “Can I come over and talk to you? This thing with Ann and Ryuji, it’s really getting to me, man.”   
  
“That’s it!” Shiho threw her hands up. “I’m not going to be the middleman for this wacky misunderstanding anymore! If this bothers you so much, why are you talking to _ me _ about it? I mean, honestly! What’s it going to take? Do I have to lock you three in a room until you guys figure it out?”   
  
~*~   
  
Shiho pulled the door shut and clicked the lock into place. She turned, putting her hands on her hips. Akira, Ann and Ryuji all looked guiltily up at her from the floor of her bedroom, Akira sitting on her spare futon, Ann and Ryuji perched atop their luggage.   
  
“This is an intervention,” Shiho announced. “I need you all to know that what I’m about to say, I say with love. But you can all be… so… _ stupid _ .”   
  
Shiho took a deep breath, and sighed. She rapped her knuckles against the door.   
  
“So, I’m doing it. I’m locking you three in this room and I’m not letting any of you out until you come to an understanding. Is that clear?”   
  
“Yes, ma’am,” Ann and Ryuji murmured glumly.   
  
Akira caught Shiho by the arm as she turned to leave.   
  
“Hey,” he said gently. His eyes flicked meaningfully towards Ann and Ryuji, then back to Shiho. “You’re… you’re staying too, right?”   
  
Shiho froze. She swallowed hard, a grateful warmth tinging her cheeks.   
  
“Don’t fall in love with me,” Shiho teased. She let Akira pull her down, and she joined the trio on the floor.   
  
“So…” Ryuji began. “We… all… like each other.”   
  
“Yep.” Ann coughed. “There’s, um… there’s a lot to unpack here. Where do we start? Akira?”   
  
All eyes were on him. Akira blinked, his lips curling into an impish smile.   
  
“So, uh… do you guys... come here often...?”   
  
~*~


End file.
